Recreational Canadian Cannabis Sales Begin Today

A woman looks out over a lake, mountains and trees, her back is to the camera, and she wears a hat. She is wrapped in a Canadian flag.

Starting today, the poutine-loving, Celine Dion-blasting, hockey-playing, moose-wrestling residents of Canada may now legally purchase cannabis all across their fine country. That's right: It's now legal, nationwide. Which leads me to the question, "Who in Canada would like to marry a cannabis columnist who is seeking to flee the flaming sewer bomb