Mike Tyson, former heavyweight champion of the world (and arguably one of the funnier bit players in The Hangover), announced last year he was opening a “cannabis resort” in the California Desert.
I wrote about that as part of a column which examined the growing trend of entertainment and sports figures getting into the cannabis industry. My takeaway wasn’t terribly keen on certain public figures getting into cannabis—ahem: John Boehner—and that people who helped build the industry over the past few decades deserved the spotlight as much as someone who once made the haha or boohoo on the magic story box.
It was announced this week that Tyson is now planning a music festival on his ranch, the Kind Music Festival (KMF), a one-day event on February 23. It’s the “Kind” Music Fest, so it’s probably going to be a canna-centric fest, right?
The website explains what the KMF will offer, in all caps, which is always a sign things are going super great and well.
KIND MUSIC FESTIVAL WILL BE A ONE-DAY “POP-UP” MICRO-FESTIVAL EVENT AT THE FUTURE SITE OF THE TYSON RANCH RESORT, A 412-ACRE ENTERTAINMENT COMPLEX, LUXURY GLAMPING RESORT AND CANNABIS RESEARCH & DESIGN FACILITY IN DESERT HOT SPRINGS.
KMF WILL TRANSFORM THE DESERT INTO A POP-UP CONCERT EXPERIENCE COMPLETE WITH FOOD TRUCKS, A ‘CHILLVILLE” WITH 100 SPECIALTY BEAN BAGS; A FUN ZONE FEATURING MASSIVE INFLATABLE RIDES, OBSTACLE COURSES AND MAZES, BAR AREA, VENDOR VILLAGE AND LIMITED EDITION HOODIES…A TRULY UNIQUE MUSIC FESTIVAL EXPERIENCE WHERE ALL AGES ARE WELCOME!
Okay… I have some questions. Starting with why you are yelling.
Is this a “POP-UP” MICRO-FESTIVAL EVENT, or is it a POP-UP CONCERT EXPERIENCE? And how do they differ, please?
This “CHILLVILLE” of which you speak… I’m not terribly enticed by “100 speciality bean bags,” insofar as I don’t know what that even means?
Are they filled with different types of beans?
Do you mean Bean Bag chairs? Is that it? To be honest, this sounds like you are placing 100 mismatched bean bags chairs into a room, unless it’s actually just bags of beans, and that’s even worse.
How MASSIVE are these INFLATABLE RIDES?
Do you mean bouncy slides? I’m not riding an inflatable roller coaster, if that even exists. A bouncy castle isn’t a ride, so now I’m concerned this is the Bean Bag issue all over, just inflatable.
OBSTACLES AND MAZES. So… the parking lot? Or an obstacle course? Look, I want to be on-board, but you need to use your words.
LIMITED EDITION HOODIES. I’m having some issues working up enthusiasm for this part.
So the ranch isn’t finished, but when it IS, it’s going to include a “CANNABIS RESEARCH AND DESIGN FACILITY,” which is so vague as to lead me to believe it’s just Mike Tyson and his friends sitting in a room smoking weed and designing bongs from soda bottles?
But that must mean I can burn one down, right?
Well, maybe. The FAQ section has this exchange:
Q: CAN I CONSUME CANNABIS ONSITE?
A: KMF SALUTES CALIFORNIA’S PROGRESSIVE STANCE ON CANNABIS AND ITS UPDATED RECREATIONAL/MEDICAL LAWS THAT GO INTO EFFECT ON JANUARY 1, 2019.
California appreciates your salute, I’m sure, but this in no way is an A, and it’s a five-word, yes-or-no Q.
In the Event details section of the site, they write:
Kind Music Festival is Health & Wellness, Unity & Authenticity.
Kind Music Festival challenges conventional thinking while being mainstream!
The inaugural KIND MUSIC FESTIVAL will have the distinction of being the first-ever Los Angeles-area event in which a traditional music festival embraces California’s updated 2019 cannabis laws. KMF is open to all ages; 21+ to consume alcohol. However, there will be no sales of cannabis products at the festival.
Okay, “conventional think” challenging mainstream concert promoter and fan of bean bag chairs!
The lineup is great: Miguel, Chicano Batman, Starcrawler, Yonee, Mac Ayres, and All My Friends Hate Me. GA early bird tickets are $85.
Let me know how it goes.