Something that should have been a claim to fame for Oregon is now the subject of bragging rights for California—and, like a donut made by a livid baker, I am filled with both jelly and anger.
Next month will see the debut of Lowell Farms: A Cannabis Cafe, a space in West Hollywood that will offer guests the opportunity to purchase and consume cannabis in a well-appointed restaurant/bar setting.
Oregonians and Oregon’s tourists would obviously despise the idea of having such a thing in our fine state, which has to be the reason we’ve consistently shot down any legislative effort put forward to license any social consumption spaces.
But, you know, good for West Hollywood, I guess.
The team behind this are the co-founders of well-known cannabis brand Lowell Herb Co., whose pre-rolls, Lowell Smokes, are carried at hundreds of California dispensaries.
The Hollywood Reporter’s story includes artist renderings of what the space will look like—airy, open, and filled with natural light and plants. THR mentions that in keeping with the brand’s eco-conscious messaging, “core elements of the café are sourced from local artisans, and everything from the wood on the tables and benches to the silverware is reclaimed and reused.”
Good luck getting anyone from Pacific Wonderland to sign off on that hand-me-down nonsense, Goodwill Gloria! Everyone knows that Oregonians like things that are new and shiny and wrapped in a hectare of plastic. Reused silverware sounds like socialist silverware.
Guests will be able to purchase cannabis products sourced from “dozens of small family farms up and down the coast of California,” and consume those products on site, selecting from a wide range of bongs, pipes, papers, and high end vape pens. Guests will be assisted by budtenders, as the cafe says that one of their key objectives is education.
I’m not sure how I feel about teaching consumers how to make better choices when purchasing and consuming cannabis. It seems that might lead to safer and more pleasurable experiences for everyone. Who wants that?
Lowell’s was one of 300 applicants for the eight “cannabis consumption licenses” that were made available in West Hollywood, and their original plan was to compliment their flower and concentrate offerings with food and beverages infused with 10 mg of THC and/or CBD. The owners are holding off on that aspect until regulatory rules about such things are clarified.
The cafe won’t simply cater to Angelinos.
“While people go to places like Amsterdam for cannabis tourism, they are also coming to Los Angeles; there are beautiful hotels to stay in, but where does that person consume cannabis?” one of the cafe owners tells THR. “Not in a dispensary, in the park, on the streets, in the hotel room. The city agreed that this was an unfriendly stance to take to cannabis tourism, so it created the first cannabis consumption license in America.”
Oregonians doesn’t need anything like this, as we are perfectly content to hotbox in our Subarus (which is illegal), or duck into an alley to burn one down (which is also illegal), just as Oregon tourists totally enjoy stuffing towels at the base of their hotel room doors to consume the cannabis they just paid a 20 percent tax to the city and state to buy.